Ever since I woke up this morning I’ve been feelin’ like shit… My stomach’s been killing me an’ I know why! It’s that friggin’ omelete I made last night (no more eggs for me, e’vah)!! I know it was!! I’m not a great cook, far from it, but I had no idea I was capable of crafting culinary colon cleansers!! Goin’ to spare you the gruesome an’ disturbing details, but at one point I welcomed death to come an’ put me outta my misery… Pretty bad, lol. Death didn’t come, instead lunchtime came around with some greasy fast food… Oooooh joooooy…
So I’m sitting there staring at this Taco Supreme thinking to myself, “It’s gonna come right out if you put that in your mouth…”
I just see the grease soaked into the bottom of the shell… I pass. Mexican Pizza… No thanks. I take a couple plain tortilla chips an’ gradually nom them down, but that’s hardly satisfying. At this point I’m afraid to put anything in my mouth that isn’t sushi (Mmm, spicy tuna, unagi… /drool). I cop out of lunch, grab the drink from the meal an’ sat at the compy cursing that gd omelete, cursing the eggs that I used to make that omelete, an’ cursing the chickens that laid the eggs that I used to make the omelete AND cursing the eggs those chickens hatched from!!!
Half the day’s wasted, I’m in no condition to focus on the grind, my soda’s almost half gone an’ my stomach doesn’t hurt anymore… Wait… WTF!? Holy hot pot o’ coffee, I’m CURED!!!
Not only can it glow in the dark, Mountain Dew apparently has healing powers too! So this’ what a healing pot tastes like, eh? Time to get in the game!!! /cheer
… Damn it, I really want sushi now, lmao!
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